postheadericon How you can Keep a Man

Be yourself

Don’ t show yourself as bashful if you are actually flamboyant. Some people’ s personas clash with those of other people. You desire be able to keep up the façade designed for long. Besides, you don’ to want to waste anyone’ s time or cause them unnecessary struggling. Your mate will sense that will something about you is not in the up-and-up and either lose interest or begin distancing himself from you if he is already emotionally involved.

Check-out your male buddies

While you are hanging out with the fellows, pay attention to the ones that you take pleasure in being around the most. Take note of the things they have in common. For example , do all of them have the same zodiac sign, do the exact same type of work, or are they all around the same age? It would be a good idea to go after this type of guy more seriously.

Confide in the opposite sex

Your female buddies and acquaintances may not know as much about men as they think they do. And much of what many of them believe they know is speculation. You don’ t interact with women the same as you do with men. So your man counterparts will be better able to inform you what issues you have that are maintaining you from getting a man.

Know your place in his lifestyle

Take into consideration what is going on in your lifetime right now. Are you experiencing emotional or financial hardship? There’ s a good chance that you are not ready for a relationship. The guy you are interested in pursuing at this time may have only come into your life to deliver a message or only like a friend. If you do become involved at this time, he might become overwhelmed by your issues plus walk away. Or then again he may stay around— preventing you from meeting or keeping the next guy you had been meant to have a relationship with later on.

Behave as if you curently have a man

Men are reputed for liking and disliking certain reasons for women. They are attracted to and want to end up being around women who are well-groomed, energetic, and friendly.

Eliminate any preconceived notions you have regarding men

This doesn’ t mean you should throw extreme care to the wind. But if you strategy and treat each member of the alternative sex as if the are likeable and worthy of love and devotion, your experience with them can be distinctive and enjoyable.

postheadericon Gene that influences the ability to remember deals with identified

Dec. twenty three, 2013 — New findings suggest the oxytocin receptor, a gene known to influence mother-infant bonding and pair bonding in monogamous species, also plays a unique role in the ability to remember deals with. This research has important implications regarding disorders in which social information digesting is disrupted, including autism spectrum disorder. In addition , the finding may lead to new strategies for improving social knowledge in several psychiatric disorders.

A team of researchers from Yerkes National Primate Study Center at Emory University in Atlanta, the University College London in the United Kingdom and University of Tampere in Finland made the breakthrough, which will be published in an online Early Edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences .

According to writer Larry Young, PhD, of Yerkes, the Department of Psychiatry in Emory’ s School of Medication and Emory’ s Center regarding Translational Social Neuroscience (CTSN), this is the first study to demonstrate that diversification in the oxytocin receptor gene affects face recognition skills. He plus co-author David Skuse point out the implication that oxytocin plays an important role in promoting our ability to acknowledge one another, yet about one-third from the population possesses only the genetic version that negatively impacts that ability. They say this finding may help clarify why a few people remember almost everyone they have met while others have difficulty recognizing people of their own family.

Skuse is with the Institute of Kid Health, University College London, and the Great Ormond Street Hospital regarding Children, NHS Foundation Trust, London.

Young, Skuse plus their research team studied 198 families with a single autistic kid because these families were known to display a wide range of variability in facial reputation skills; two-thirds of the families were from the United Kingdom, and the remainder from Finland.

The Emory researchers previously found the oxytocin receptor is essential for olfactory-based interpersonal recognition in rodents, like mice and voles, and wondered whether the same gene could also be involved in human being face recognition. They examined the influence of subtle differences in oxytocin receptor gene structure on encounter memory competence in the parents, non-autistic siblings and autistic child, plus discovered a single change in the DNA of the oxytocin receptor had a big impact on face memory skills in the families. According to Young, this acquiring implies that oxytocin likely plays an important role more generally in interpersonal information processing, which is disrupted in disorders such as autism.

Additionally , this study is exceptional for its evolutionary aspect. Rodents make use of odors for social recognition while humans use visual facial cues. This suggests an ancient conservation in genetic and neural architectures associated with social information processing that goes beyond the sensory modalities used from mouse to man.

Skuse credits Young’ s prior research that found mice using a mutated oxytocin receptor failed to acknowledge mice they previously encountered. “ This led us to go after more information about facial recognition and the implications for disorders in which interpersonal information processing is disrupted. ” Young adds the team will certainly continue working together to pursue techniques for improving social cognition in System.Drawing.Bitmap disorders based on the current findings.

postheadericon ‘Love hormone’ may play wider function in social interaction than previously thought

Sep. 11, 2013 — Researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine have shown that oxytocin — often referred to as “the appreciate hormone” because of its importance in the development and maintenance of strong mother-child plus sexual attachments — is associated with a broader range of social interactions than previously understood.

The discovery may have ramifications for neurological disorders such as autism, as well as for scientific conceptions of our evolutionary heritage.

Scientists estimation that the advent of social living forwent the emergence of pair residing by 35 million years. The brand new study suggests that oxytocin’s role within one-on-one bonding probably evolved from an existing, broader affinity for group residing.

Oxytocin is the concentrate of intense scrutiny for its apparent roles in establishing trust between people, and has been administered to children with autism spectrum disorders in clinical trials. The new research, published Sept. 12 in Nature , pinpoints a unique way in which oxytocin alters activity within a part of the brain that is crucial to experiencing the pleasant sensation neuroscientists call “reward. ” The findings not only offer validity for ongoing trials of oxytocin in autistic patients, but additionally suggest possible new treatments just for neuropsychiatric conditions in which social exercise is impaired.

“People with autism-spectrum disorders may not feel the normal reward the rest of us all obtain from being with our friends, ” said Robert Malenka, MD, PhD, the study’s senior author. “For them, social interactions can be completely painful. So we asked, what within the brain makes you enjoy hanging out with your buddies? ”

Some hereditary evidence suggests the awkward social interaction that is a hallmark of autism-spectrum disorders may be at least in part oxytocin-related. Certain variations in the gene that encodes the oxytocin receptor — a cell-surface protein that detects the substance’s presence — are associated with increased autism risk.

Malenka, the Nancy Buddy Pritzker Professor in Psychiatry plus Behavioral Sciences, has spent the better part of two decades studying the incentive system — a network of interconnected brain regions responsible for our sensation of pleasure in response to a number of activities such as finding or eating food when we’re hungry, sleeping whenever we’re tired, having sex or obtaining a mate, or, in a pathological twist, taking addictive drugs. The reward system has evolved to boost behaviors that promote our survival, he said.

For this study, Malenka and lead author Gül Dölen, MD, PhD, a postdoctoral scholar in his group with over 10 years of autism-research experience, teamed up to untangle the complex neurophysiological underpinnings of oxytocin’s function in social interactions. They focused on biochemical events taking place in a human brain region called the nucleus accumbens, reputed for its centrality to the reward system.

In the 1970s, biologists learned that in prairie voles, which usually mate for life, the nucleus accumbens is replete with oxytocin receptors. Disrupting the binding of oxytocin to these receptors impaired prairie voles’ monogamous behavior. In many other types that are not monogamous by nature, such as mountain voles and common mice, the nucleus accumbens appeared to absence those receptors.

“From this observation sprang a dogma that pair bonding is a exclusive type of social behavior tied to the existence of oxytocin receptors in the nucleus accumbens. But what’s driving the more typical group behaviors that all mammals participate in — cooperation, altruism or just experimenting — remained mysterious, since these types of oxytocin receptors were supposedly lacking in the nucleus accumbens of most social animals, ” said Dölen.

The new discovery shows that mice do indeed have oxytocin receptors at a key location in the nucleus accumbens and, importantly, that preventing oxytocin’s activity there significantly diminishes these animals’ appetite for mingling. Dölen, Malenka and their Stanford colleagues also identified, for the first time, the particular nerve tract that secretes oxytocin in the region, and they pinpointed the effects of oxytocin release on other nerve systems projecting to this area.

Mice can squeak, but they can’t talk, Malenka noted. “You can’t ask a mouse, ‘Hey, do hanging out with your buddies a while ago make you happier? ’” So , to explore the social-interaction effects of oxytocin activity in the nucleus accumbens, the investigators used a standard measure called the conditioned place choice test.

“It’s very simple, ” Malenka said. “You want to hang out in places where you had fun, and avoid places where you didn’t. All of us give the mice a ‘house’ made from two rooms separated by a door they can walk through at any time. But first, we let them spend 24 hours in a single room with their littermates, followed by twenty four hours in the other room all by by themselves. On the third day we put the two rooms together to make the house, give them complete freedom to go back plus forth through the door and log the amount of time they spend within each room. ”

Mice normally prefer to spend time within the room that reminds them from the good times they enjoyed in the company of their buddies. But that preference disappeared when oxytocin activity in their nucleus accumbens was blocked. Interestingly, only social activity appeared to be affected. There was no difference, for example , in the mice’s general propensity to move around. And when the researchers trained the mice to prefer one room over the other by giving them cocaine (which mice love) only when they entered one room, blocking oxytocin exercise didn’t stop the mice through picking the cocaine den.

In an extensive series of advanced, highly technical experiments, Dölen, Malenka and their teammates located the particular oxytocin receptors in the murine nucleus accumbens. These receptors lie not really on nucleus accumbens nerve cells that carry signals forward to varied other reward-system nodes but , instead, at the tips of nerve cells forming a tract from a human brain region called the dorsal Raphe, which usually projects to the nucleus accumbens. The dorsal Raphe secretes another important element, serotonin, triggering changes in nucleus accumbens activity. In fact , popular medicine such as Prozac, Paxil and Zoloft belong to a class of medicines called serotonin-reuptake inhibitors that raise available amounts of serotonin in human brain regions, including the nucleus accumbens.

As the Stanford team found, oxytocin acting at the nucleus accumbens wasn’t simply squirted into common circulation, as hormones typically are, but was secreted at this spot simply by another nerve tract originating in the particular hypothalamus, a multifunction midbrain framework. Oxytocin released by this system binds to receptors on the dorsal Raphe projections to the nucleus accumbens, in turn liberating serotonin in this key node of the brain’s reward circuitry. The serotonin causes changes in the activity of yet other nerve tracts terminating at the nucleus accumbens, ultimately resulting in altered nucleus accumbens activity — and a happy feeling.

“There are at least 14 various subtypes of serotonin receptor, ” said Dölen. “We’ve identified one particular in particular as being important for social incentive. Drugs that selectively act with this receptor aren’t clinically available yet, but our study may encourage researchers to start looking at drugs that target it for the treatment of illnesses such as autism, where social interactions are impaired. ”

Malenka and Dölen said they will think their findings in mice are highly likely to generalize to humans because the brain’s reward circuitry has been so carefully conserved over the course of hundreds of millions of years of evolution. This particular extensive cross-species similarity probably comes from pleasure’s absolutely essential role in reinforcing behavior likely to boost an individual’s chance of survival and procreation.

postheadericon Methods to Turn a Friend Into a Boyfriend

Are you friends having a guy you have developed feelings intended for? Do you think he might like you more than friends? Do you want to get out of the friend zone and into a real relationship? Look at this.

Getting out of the particular friend zone only works if the guy was into you from the very beginning. If you are not his “type” then being more of a challenge won’t create a big difference. He just won’t go after you romantically. Men know from the very beginning if you are their type and if they would ever date you. Ladies are the opposite (their attraction in order to men can grow, whereas a man’s attraction to a woman will be FIXED).

How do you know if this man sees you a lot more as a friend?

-He hangs around you a lot, there’s always an excuse for him to be in town or by your job. He calls you a lot, wants to go out together single. He always stays in touch. You can not get him out of your hair! This individual puts down other men who you are dating. A platonic male buddy will want to see you happy with another man. But a friend who has feelings for you will exhibit some jealousy at the other prospects. And finally, he will make it clear to you that he wants to be more than simply friends!

There’s several actions you can take to see if he or she really does want more than a friendship (remember, don’t “assume” he feels exactly the same way as you do unless his actions and words say therefore , otherwise you could get very, very hurt) or if he’s content with simply being “buds. ”

1 . Scale back on the texting and chatting. For example , instead of chatting every day, chat alternate day. Chat for about 10 minutes then you gotta go! Wait 24 hours (if that is too long for you, wait a few hours) before responding to texts (and don’t respond to every single text). Create several space (men love it). Once you text a man and he doesn’t textual content back right away, isn’t he in your thoughts until you hear from him? Well you want this man to be considering you! You don’t want to be too available. You want to exude a delighted, busy, light demeanor. Men enjoy this.

2 . Instead of sharing all your thoughts or your daily itinerary, be a little more mysterious (men love this too). Don’t always say what you are doing. Leave several questions unanswered. Smile instead of talking all the time. Feel the tension in the quiet. It will give you clues on whether they are into you or not.

3. Look your best at all times. Quite makeup, smooth and shiny locks, feminine clothes in your best shades, and a spritz or two of your favorite perfume.

four. If you hang out a lot together change him down for hangouts occasionally. Tell him you’d love to, but you curently have plans (if it’s a last minute hang out request).

5. Let him initiate all outings.

6. Enjoy getting to know your pet and having fun as friends. The best relationships start off as friends. Please remember, if he likes you enough, he’ll soon make it known. You should understand. Men cannot hide their true feelings for long.

**Ask a trusted friend to find out if he has feelings for you. Have him/her say something casual like, “I noticed you and X have been going out a lot lately. Have you ever thought of some thing more? ” Listen to his solution. Men don’t usually lie regarding things like this.

Regarding the Author

postheadericon Keep Your Love Alive With Marriage Counseling (Lisa P. Brown)

For many people, marriage counseling has an interesting and unfortunate perception. It is often considered the final thing a couple may try out before they get divorced. Although this is occasionally the case, a more useful perception is that it can reinforce currently healthy, expanding marriages. Similar to how a doctor will not wait to deal with a disease until it’s in its final stages, smart relationship partners may wish to take advantage of counseling right when they notice some kind of problem within their marriage. To continue the analogy, modern health now centers on avoidance and conscious healthy living, even in the absence of any medical difficulties. Even if you seem perfectly happy, relationship partners might need to take the smallest hints and work on their marriage. Here are a few reasons why this is important and some ways to get it done.

As Every Partner Grows Help Your Relationship Grow

Any time a relationship first starts, the marriage partners come together from individual, unique backgrounds to create the personalities, habits, and beliefs of each person. Each individual grows over time and decades of any durable marriage. Their thinking becomes elderly, their attitudes about society plus their place in it change, and also their personalities including their choices evolve. Many partners grow plus mature together within the framework associated with marriage. But , many of the changes that people go through are independent of their companions. The biggest tragedy of a failed relationship is partners who have lamented, “We grew apart”.

Coping with marriage throughout the growing cycle is challenging, but may be a happy process. If this doesn’t seem to be happening naturally, an expert marriage counselor that has the proper abilities will be able to help the marriage partners thin this gap. As the partners fully developed in their lives, the counselor is going to be there to smooth over any rough bumps.

Getting Better Communication Skills

Communication, many believe will be the key to a successful marriage. However , exactly what does this really mean? Obviously, the partners made a connection that will led to love and matrimony in the first place. They did this by appealing to the other person through their looks, their own personality, and the things they communicated. But , once the marriage starts to grow, the need for each person to understand the other becomes a larger need, and for some, it might be more difficult. A wife needs to realize that when she is asked to begin carrying out something by her husband, it is far from because he has any negativity in the direction of her. A husband needs to understand when a wife asks him to improve his mind, that she still loves and respects him. In many cases, a marriage partner assumes that the other knows what she or he is thinking, or what he or she meant. However , unless they are able to express that efficiently and the partner understands it properly, there may be no such understanding. A marriage counselor may be able to offer you the necessary equipment to make this happen.

Handling Challenging Topics

Lots of people feel that money is the primary reason for divorce, but it may be a lot more true to say that the ability to resolve variations on ways the family spends cash is where the problem lies. People will usually argue, but will they fight in a manner that results in a happy resolution, or will they content in a way that will eventually dissolve the marriage. A professional counselor can help set the appropriate atmosphere when the individual partners are going through difficulties discerning one from the other, and offer the appropriate tools that may be necessary to resolve conflicts. These were only a couple from the techniques that marriage counseling can help a good already healthy and happy relationship turn into an even stronger and much better one.

postheadericon Femdom Videos – A Nice Way to Find out New Female Dominance Tricks (Sabina Romanova)

Female dominance (or Femdom) is those BDSM relationships and BDSM scenes in which the dominant partner is female. Depending on context or personal preference often a dominant woman may be preferred to be called a domme, femdomme, domina, dominatrix, or Dom.

Usually, activities consist of anything from role reversal in order to more extreme acts of BDSM such as torture.

There is absolutely no predefined set of activities that always fall exclusively within the sphere of female dominance as with other BDSM orientations. Normally, the female dominant establishes the activity within the context of a consensual encounter.

You can learn femdom activities by watching femdom video clips that includes strap-on dildo penetration (pegging) in which the dominant partner performs anal sex on the submissive partner, when male, or if the partner is female, either vaginal sex or anal sex, face sitting or smothering, which both tend to concentrate on the submissive partner performing cunnilingus on the dominant partner, or in most cases “forced” feminization of a male partner. The dominant female may have the submissive partner perform acts of fellatio on her strap-on dildo or engage in intercourse with other individuals and force the submissive partner to view.

Practices of domination common to many BDSM and other various sexual relationships are also prevalent, such as various forms of orgasm denial, cock and ball torture, tease and denial and tie and tease, as well as age play, erotic spanking, cunnilingus, body worship, verbal humiliation, foot worship, ass worship, face slapping, hair pulling, caning, leaking hot wax on the genitals, heavy whipping, spitting, golden showers, pressured chastity and forced bisexuality.

The best advantage of availing the particular femdom options is that it will help your partner learn all the tricks and methods, which are very necessary, for effective woman dominated sex. In the femdom videos and movies, not only they can learn the way of torturing you while making the entire process of pain, quite pleasurable for you. Watching these femdom options collectively can also make you aware about the way, by which you have to respond to your partner.

There are a few ways you can introduce femdom to your male partner, and the most common of these is simply talking about it. Perhaps over a nice candle-lit dinner; a romantic environment already puts forth the desire of more to come. When your partner comes home to find you have prepared an excellent romantic evening, a conversation revolving around desires will already get play.

postheadericon Study finds that online bullying provides declined

Oct. 24, 2013 — MTV and The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Study today released the results of a brand new survey exploring the pervasiveness associated with digital abuse among teens and young adults, how it is affecting America’s youth and how they’re responding to this. According to the survey, trends show how the share of young people affected by digital abuse has declined since last year, with less than half (49 percent) of those surveyed stating that they have experienced digital abuse, compared to 56 percent in 2011. Additionally , virtually every form of digital mistreatment tracked in this study — twenty six out of 27 listed — provides declined. When experiencing digital mistreatment, 44 percent of young people suggest that they seek help from their parents or family, up over 25 % from 2011, and the majority (66 percent) say that telling their parents made the situation better.

Sexting is down nearly 20 percent from 2011, with only about a quarter of young people confirming that they have sent or received “sext” messages, compared with one in 3 in 2011. Meanwhile, just over 10 percent associated with 14-24 year olds say they have shared naked pictures of movies of themselves. While this number continues to be relatively consistent over the past few years, the particular percentage of teens and young adults who say they sent nude pictures to someone they just know online has decreased by more than half since 2009. Additionally , teenagers report less pressure to send nude pictures or videos of by themselves, down over 40 percent compared to 2011 (12 percent vs . 7 percent). Unfortunately there has been less progress on digital dating abuse. On par with 2011, nearly forty percent of young people in a relationship report experiencing some type of digital relationship abuse, with one in 5 stating that their partner provides checked up with them multiple times per day online or via mobile, and that their significant other has read their own text messages without their permission.

The MTV and Associated Press-NORC Center study was released nowadays as part of MTV’s “A THIN LINE” campaign, which has already empowered over 1 . 5 million young people to take action to stop the spread of digital abuse.

Detailed findings from the October 2013 study consist of:


Less than half of young people (49 percent) report experiencing digital mistreatment, representing a nearly 15 % decline from 56 percent in 2011. Some of the positive gains include:

  • Drops in twenty six of 27 forms of digital mistreatment (2013 vs . 2011). Some of these consist of:
    • A nearly 30 percent drop in reports of individuals using email, IM or cellular phone text messages to spread rumors that will weren’t true (15 percent vs . 21 percent)
    • An almost 30 percent decline in reports of individuals impersonating the respondent by signing into his or her email or social media accounts without permission (15 % vs . 21 percent)
    • A nearly 25 percent decrease in reviews of spying by logging straight into personal email and/or social media balances without permission (16 percent vs . 21 percent)

When responding to digital abuse:

  • A lot more young people are seeking help from parents or family, up over 25 % from 2011. Among the 1 in 3 who asked their parents for help in 2013, a majority (66 percent) say it made the problem better, up 35 percent compared to 2011 (49 percent). Additionally , nearly 20 percent asked a brother for help, and among that will group- over half (57 percent) report that it made the situation much better.
  • The most effective responses in order to digital abuse include:
    • Changing email, IM, or social networking passwords (nearly three-quarters, or 73 percent, report that this produced the situation better)
    • Transforming an email address, screen name or cell phone number (72 percent report this particular made the situation better)
    • Deleting a social networking profile (72 percent report this made the problem better)
    • Telling parents (66 percent report this produced the situation better).
  • Retaliation is now cited because the least effective response, with twenty percent saying that it made the problem worse. Nearly 50 percent viewed retaliation as an effective response in 2011, compared to less than 30 percent in 2013, representing a nearly 40 percent decline.


The number of young people who have delivered or received “sext” messages provides declined. Of the young people who have contributed naked pictures or videos associated with themselves, over half (66 percent) say they sent naked pictures of themselves to their boyfriend or girlfriend, and less than 15 % have shared naked pictures with someone they only know online, marking a more than 50 percent decline since 2009.

Whilst fewer young people report sending or receiving “sext” messages, digital relationship abuse has unfortunately remained fairly consistent, with nearly 40 % of young people who are currently in the relationship experiencing some form of digital mistreatment:

  • Around one particular in five report that their own partner has checked up with all of them multiple times per day online or via mobile (22 percent), and that their own significant other has read their sms without their permission (21 percent).
  • Nearly 10 percent state their significant other has called all of them names, put them down, or said mean things to them on the Internet or on their cell phone (9 percent) or demanded to know the passwords to their email and Internet accounts (8 percent).
  • Nearly twenty percent of young people say they will feel pressured by their partner to reply to their phone calls, emails, texts, or instant messages.

postheadericon The particular Tao of Badass – E-Book for Online Dating Amazing Tips

If you’ve ever finished up to a well-known on the Online Dating solutions, you’re probably all too conscious of just how frustrating it is to be instantly provided with a tremendous sea of prospective schedules you’d never have any way of meeting by opportunity. The creator of “The Tao of Badass”, the greatest 100% free single men and women romantic relationship website on the globe provide you an entire E-book, has mentioned a variety of helpful suggestions to make use of single men and women in regards to much more achievements on the internet. Many individuals reduce monitor halfway while using the easy on the internet on the internet relationship solutions as they are really not sure about their options and options. If you are certain about what kind of individual you are really looking for, you can find your own ideal time frame on the internet. You can also make record of the potential schedules within an individual worksheet and remain in regular contact with these individuals. Your periodic cable connections with somebody in the record may older into a serious connection earlier or later.

Your relationship profile – If you are Internet dating your information should consist of little details about yourself that are most appropriate to you in finding and illustrating in another associate. On your on the internet information, you don’t have to generate your entire life tale because a couple of factors are better left unspoken until you connect straight with a individual. Traditional factors to list are usually your actions, what you like to do in your time off, and what your job is usually. Be sure to avoid talking about past cable connections, your close relatives or other private and personal subjects on your info. Again, those components should be talked about when you meet up in individual.

About the Author

postheadericon The Blessing of Unconditional Acceptance

It seems strange to us that we are weak,
When love from other people we do solemnly seek,
But the powers of approval and rejection are so,
That they make us, definitely, our very own distant foe.

We all hate it when we can’t discover our way,
To their hearts – and there to remain,
So best are usually we when we bear their wrong,
When we bear our own weakness, then we’re strong!


It’s unfair that we seem to be affected by the partiality of people. As people, we all accept some and yet we deny others – even as if we are unable to help it. Yet we whistle on the dark far too much when we are actually destined for higher things; not for ourselves, but for others.

We are, at once, asked and even required, by God, to accept every persons, notwithstanding their state or even status or even their infractions towards us, or any we may love.

What seems a absurdly tall order is the privilege associated with life in the Kingdom of the King of Kings. Once we recognise that will God gives us the capacity to have our love for every single following person, and we see that such unconditional acceptance is a gift and not the hardship, we have no bitterness about needing to forgive. It is our basic pleasure to forgive, for what God is already giving back to us.


Such a fabulously paradoxical life: that, within God, we are given not simply the opportunity to not need to be accepted, but also the tolerance of understanding and forgiveness to grapple with rejection. Not just one but both tools are given to us.

The heights of divine irony are arrived at when we determine it to be an honour to be lambasted again the poles of partiality, because we now have God, and with God, we have all we want.

This is the blessing associated with unconditional acceptance. No further effort, nor burden, is experienced. None in any way – at least as it is possible.

When we have God, and we have understood without complaint that will God – alone – is usually everything, we need nothing of individual partiality: that ‘precious’ if not complementing sense of being favoured without ever knowing why.


Only with The almighty have we the reason to forgive a person, so their wrong towards us won’t affect our approval of them. When we bear our some weakness, being truthful about its location, then we may be strengthened. This kind of strength is required to be able to forgive.

© 2013 S. M. Wickham.

postheadericon Getting Trusted Requires Trustworthiness

“To be reliable is a greater compliment than getting loved. ”

There’s no good whining for a lack of trust,
When gossip’s our background,
Keeping confidences: that is one thing we must,
When we’re to be respected as a individual of one accord.


Is there a higher glory than to be trusted? The trust-worthy – the person worthy of being reliable – is somewhat rare in this world, where all information seems to have its price as a commodity of influence and standing. But the trustworthy person will serve kings and queens and heads-of-state, not simply dodgy bosses (Proverbs 22: 29).

Even as we find ourselves reliably informed and also a worthy vessel for containing ‘choice morsels’, we are granted further benefits of confidence. It’s no chance that guarding precious information is certainly ‘keeping a confidence’ – exactly where we are regarded as trustworthy, people have self-confidence in us. We are safe people. And safe people are those we all want to be around.


A reliable person is a safe person to be around. They are admired for the priceless possession they offer free to all – safe refuge from the snares associated with precious information out on the open up market of gossip, hearsay and rumour.

It is never too late to become a person who can be reliable.

But first of all we must understand why it is we cannot hold these confidences; we need to know exactly why we betray confidences in the first place. We are prepared to cash-in by compromise, since we are needy somehow.

Becoming trustworthy is about holding the confidence, because we are safe within ourselves – we don’t require extra kudos or influence or even special praise. We have faith that something better is around the corner for having been found faithful. We also recognise the privilege involved in getting counted on. We put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

Being a safe person means people can come to us and enjoy us. Likewise, we are blessed as they are blessed. God blesses us for having been a blessing; for having offered diligently, faithfully, unswervingly.


Being a worthy vessel for containing ‘choice morsels’ we are granted further blessings associated with confidence. It’s a beautiful feeling that people can be relied upon; that others can call upon us as if we have been home. Being a safe person may be one of the highest privileges in as being a member of humankind.

It really is worth the effort – the sacrifice – to be found trustworthy – each last bit.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.